October...In Review

So, I've been slacking on my blogging duties.  Not much happened during the Halloween party.  We ended up NOT going to the haunted house, thank goodness.  We might go this weekend, but we are still up in the air about it.  I say, after Oct. 31st, all gore and haunted stuff needs to end.  I dressed up as Katniss, as said previously.  Let me just say, powerful, positive, female heroines rock. 

 

Starting this weekend, we begin THE NOVEMBER TO END ALL NOVEMBERS!  I kid you not, here is our schedule for the month of November:

This weekend: Fall Fest Dance at school.  (Supervising, work stuff, but still fun.)

Next weekend: John's birthday weekend and off to New Orleans to meet up with John's brothers (Dear Lord, stay close to us.)

Weekend after that:  Mal's birthday weekend and off to see Drew Holcomb in concert in The Heights (yes, yes)

Weekend after THAT:  DISNEY WORLD WITH OUR BFFS!!!!!!!!!!

It's going to be a crazy, whirl-wind of a month.  Let's rock it out :)

Fall fun

Today we have a half day at school.  I have parent teacher conferences till 5pm though.  Then, homecoming festivities begin!  Tomorrow is the big day though.  Haunted house, Halloween party extravaganza.  I'm super nervous about the haunted house though.  I love rinky dink haunted houses, I do not like BIG production, gory haunted houses, which is exactly what we are going to tomorrow.  Ugh.  We'll see how it goes.

  

Then there are days like these...

When a camel comes to school, and the kids get all excited and wide-eyed, and life is just amazing. 

At least I'm trying...

So, day went well, sort of.

Here's the thing.  Being a teacher, you are front and center.  You are constantly being judged, criticized, and evaluated from every angle.  You can't escape it.

You will get the critics and those that adore you.  There are days, like today, where you wonder, "do any of my student really like me?  Am I really making an impact?  Am I a good teacher?"

There were moments in the past where I dwelt on negative comments daily and monthly.  I could never let it go and just be a teacher and do better next time.

So, what made God think that this terribly insecure, horribly inadequate human being would make a good teacher?  In that, I have to give Him all the praise.  2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.."  

I am not a perfect teacher by any means, but I will keep relying on Him to help me through.  

Obviously I was called to my school for a reason, and until that reason is fulfilled, I need to quiet the doubt and just know God's grace is enough.  

One of my favorite quotes right now is by Teddy Roosevelt.  I may have said it before, but it states:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

I'm in that arena daily, giving it my all.  God, all I ask is that you stay with me until the end.  I may end up a little bloody and bruised, but at least I'm trying.  

TGIM

Things I am thankful for today:

Dear Texas weather,
     Thank you for being perfectly chilly and cloudy.  I looked out the window the other day, and the sky was overcast and the wind was howling, and I said out loud, "what a beautiful day."  Normal people probably don't say that, but I love those kind of days. 

Dear Old Navy,
     Thank you for having ridiculously cheap clothing that still looks cute.  One of these days I may need to fork over some more money and buy better, well-made clothing that will last, but not today.

Dear Panera,
     Thank you for having perfect food for chilly, cloudy days. 

Dear Mrs. P
     Thank you for being the QUEEN of English.  I am so happy that you are my mentor.  I blessed to learn from the reigning English expert at LSA.   You are a queen Mrs. P.

All done

Well grades are in...finally...and now I am joyfully sitting on my bum, mindlessly pinning on Pinterest and watching football.  This was the first time in a long time when I could finally watch the Lions.  Lions lost, of course.  So, to dull the pain of having to be a Lions fan, here are somethings that are making me happy lately:

*I would like to go to a party like this:


*I cannot live without coconut oil for my hair.  Smells great, and makes it shiny, because usually my hair looks like a frizzy mess.

*I am currently reading this book:



I have talked about Brene A LOT, but honestly, she's amazing and gives amazing life advice.

*I've been snacking on yogurt covered pretzels.  At first they were just a treat, now I buy them every time we go to the grocery store.  It's becoming an addiction.

*My new favorite thing to do is soak in the beautiful weather and take walks with hubs and Kelly.

 *Here's the top 25 songs I listen to:

 I am officially an old lady.  Less than a month until I'm 28, and we get to see Drew Holcomb for my birthday!  I'm excited. 

That's all for now, hope you all had a great weekend!

Working

My blogging will be sporadic until next weekend.  Right now, I have to grade, grade, grade.  As an English teacher you have these options:





Only change "good grades" to "grading" and you get my point.  So, I'm choosing grading and sleeping for this weekend.  Yesterday I planned on watching Hocus Pocus and having a bon fire, but it rained and hubs was tired.  We chose mostly sleeping for yesterday.

Social life will come next weekend.  We are going to a Halloween party.  I'm dressing up as Katniss.  Unfortunately no middle school girls will be there, so I'm betting know one will know who I am.  All well.   Hubs as going as Superman.  No joke.

Hope you all have a better weekend than me!  Essays here I come!

Fall

Fall is magical.  I am starting to appreciate fall in the South.  It isn't nearly as enchanting as it is up North (sorry Texas) but it does have its moments down here.  

The biggest moment is the cold front.  I'm starting to recognize "the cold front" as an official holiday down here.  It's coming in tomorrow, and it seems like everyone is FREAKING out because of it.  It spells the relief of hot humid days, and welcomes in northernly cool, summer-like weather.  

To celebrate, Friday evening will be apple cider, pumpkins, and a bon fire at the Simonis' house.  I'm trying to force John to watch Hocus Pocus with me, but it doesn't look like that will happen any time soon.  We will see what I can do. 

In the meantime, I will just enjoy my "cool" 70 degree days and dream of the vibrant reds, yellows, and oranges from up North.  

Leaves John gave me from his trip up to Wisconsin

   

Girls of worth

To all my ladies:
   Here's the deal.  If you are going to be in the work force one day, and if you are going to have an opinion, on ANYTHING, you might get called a name.  A very specific name reserved for a woman with an opinion, a mind, and the will to stand up for herself.  You probably know what that name is, because, unfortunately, you may have already been called this name.  You can be the sweetest, nicest girl in the world, and if you have a different opinion from someone else, you will probably be called this name.  If you're still in the dark, it starts with a B, and that's as far as I'll take it.  Sadly, gender issues are still out there.  Maybe by the time you get to be in your 30's and in the work place it will change, but I doubt it.  
 
Here's my advice ladies: go and do anyways.  People will try to bring you down.  Sadly, just by being a girl you will have labels placed on you that may already weigh you down.  Go and do anyways.  Men will say, "this girl is hotter than you," "shut up, what do you know" and girls will talk behind your back and say, "who does she think she is?"  Go and do anyways.
 
Be smart and keep striving to learn more.  Don't be dumb because it "looks cute."  Any man that is worth his weight in gold will love and want a woman with a MIND, who can think for herself and stands up for what she believes in and knows she's worthy of love all on her own.

It's not easy.  Some days you may want to just be that "dumb, cute chick".  Don't fall for it.  Stand on your own two feet, lift your head, and don't let your crown fall, because you're a QUEEN, not a princess.  Let people rise to your standards, and never lower yourself to theirs.  They may call you names, especially the one reserved for a woman with an opinion, a mind, and the will to stand up for herself, but at least you're standing for something, and that's good enough.    

 

Weekend Verdict: Part 2

The weekend turned around.  A little more relaxing and less fast paced than last weekend, but still successful.   

We ended up having a wonderful time in Montrose and found a beautiful antique window pane, which is now all mine to put up when I finally paint my home (one day).

We saw Captain Phillips, and both agree that Tom Hanks needs to win SOMETHING for his acting.

We shopped at Whole Foods, and I gave John a hard time.  He said he actually liked shopping there, and I can distinctly remember him HATING it when we were first married.  He said he only liked it now because we can actually afford it and we aren't dirt poor with $20 in our bank account.  I can see his point.  We bought roughly five things and spent $40.

Oh Whole Foods, I will end up with cancer due to GMO food consumption because we probably still can't afford you.  Even if I could afford you, I would still shop at Kroger because I love Cheetos and sour punch straws too much.  So there.  

The best part is the weekend is still going strong.  We are heading over to a friend's house later on to hang out and have some dinner.  Vocabulary tests are graded, and grammar quizzes are almost done.  So, well done weekend for recovering from our garage sale disaster.

Rereading this post, I realize now how completely nerdy and boring our lives are.  Sorry to subject you through it.  I wish I could say I met Beyonce and tell you how fabulous she is in real life, but it wasn't meant to be.     

Little window pane on the right is MINE.  All MINE.

       

Oh Saturday

   So, it's only 10:43am, but John and I figured we'd get up early and look at some garage sales.  We like seeing if we can find buried treasure, but usually we just end up looking at junk.  It's still fun though.  Here's some advice for one garage sale seller: don't sell your used underwear for $0.50.  OMG!  Seriously people!  After that, John and I came home, grossed out and defeated.  We found no buried treasure.  Just used underwear *barf*

   For some reason, after that excursion, I got on a cleaning spree in my own home (I wonder why).  I also decided to start painting over my flesh colored walls because I get so dang frustrated looking at that ridiculous color day in and day out.  Here's what happened:

 

So, I got a little grey crazy.  Picking your living area colors is HARD.  I honestly hate the two colors on the bottom.  The one taped up on the top isn't so bad.  I'll have to graffiti the house with it a little to see if I actually like it.  Ugh.  Home improvement life is not for the faint of heart.  We now have grey spots in various areas around our house PLUS a flesh colored wall background.  Awesome.  

It's now 11:00am.  The day is starting to look up now.  John has planned for us to go to the Montrose area of Houston for brunch, a movie, and some high class antiquing.  None of this used underwear for $0.50 BS.  Let's see how the rest of the weekend holds up.  It can only go up from here!

      

Flying lessons

This week FLEW by.  It helped that Thursday was a field trip day for my little 7th graders.  It's always my favorite field trip too.  We visit George R. Ranch and experience "the good ol' days" of the Texas frontier.  I think it's my favorite field trip.  Not only is the ranch absolutely beautiful, but I also get to watch my students grow up before my eyes.

At the ranch, a guide requires them to build fires, cook food, and build a make shift shelter, all in the course of an hour.  In the three years of me doing this field trip, my babies have always succeeded, without any help from any adults.  They just do it.  It makes me so proud to see these little 12 and 13 year olds emerge into leaders.  It's also a bittersweet reminder, they won't be little for much longer.

As a 7th grade teacher, I'd say the best part is that I get my students right at the peak of their childhood.  The moment right before they make that jump into adolescence.  The most torturous part is watching them jump.

When I taught in the high school, they were already gone.  They were who they were, and they weren't going to change, because you're just another authority figure pressuring them to do this and do that and YOU DON'T KNOW ME!  The problem is, I did know them, and all I could do was constantly try to bang at the walls and say, "let me in." In middle school, the walls aren't quite there yet, and there are at least little cracks and windows, so you can peak in, talk, and relate.

The torture begins when you start to see where it's time to let them go.  The cracks and windows start to close, and all you can do is pray that you made a difference somehow.  Pray that when they get to high school, some of your words stuck with them and will eventually help other teachers break down barriers.

It's hard to let them go.  It may be a major fault of mine that I love these kids far too fiercely.  I can't even begin to imagine the aching love I will have for my own kids when that day finally comes.  For right now I'm just going to love my students anyway, and let go as much as I can when they finally do decide to make that jump, and pray some of my words will help them along the way.  

   

             

Let your light shine

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about worthiness.  For a LONG time, I have never felt truly worthy of anything.  So, I have spent much of my life trying to prove myself, and please others.  To add to my wanting to please others, for better or worse, we also have a performance based pay system at my school.

Let me just say this right now, I love my school, but performance based is pretty much my worst nightmare.  It shouldn't be.  I'm confident that I'm a good teacher and I love my students.  I do what I'm supposed to do, and then some.   I just have this ever lingering fear of "not good enough."  Last year I went into prove myself overdrive in every aspect of my life, and basically went nuts.  

It wasn't until recently that I finally stopped proving, and started just BEING.  When I was confirmed in the church, my confirmation verse was Matthew 5:16,  "In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." I always thought it was a good verse, but never knew how it applied to my life.

Then, I began teaching in the middle school, and right outside my door is my confirmation verse, painted into the recessed ceiling.   I took it as a sign.  I belong right here, teaching these kids, but again, never really knew what it meant in my life.  Now I know.  I am enough.

Mistakes and all, I am still enough.  I have nothing more to prove, and I should only be trying to please God in everything I do.  He's given me all I need in order to shine brightly.  Of course, this is easier said than done.  So, I'm working on it.  Just shining brightly with what I have and knowing it's enough.

Every day is a battle of quieting the doubt.  I have little reminders around me, such as "work hard, stay humble" as my computer background.  When I wake up in the morning, I immediate say, "do your best, and know it's enough."  I listen to positive music, I hang around positive people.  Still, the voice is in the background, "do more, you're lazy, stop being selfish, you're never enough."  It's getting quieter, but I'm hoping one day I will barely hear it anymore.  Maybe then I will know I am doing my best and giving my all to the One who really matters.

 

       

 

TGIM

 So, I figured since everyone hates Mondays anyway, (myself included), I might as well change my outlook on it and write little letters of things I'm thankful for.  Jimmy Fallon does it, so I can too!  So, Thank God it's Monday!

Dear Brene Brown,  I love you.  Please let me be your apprentice and learn everything from you ok?  Ok.  Your writing and courage are inspiring.  If you haven't seen her TED talk yet, watch it, then read her books.  Brene Brown TED talk

Dear Alterra I-refuse-to-call-you-Collectivo-coffee- Coffee, Thank you for getting me through the day.  If you ever want to move to Texas, feel free to find a spot right by my house on the way to school.  I miss you so much and I'm glad I have a pound and a half bag right now to at least get me through January.

Dear Kelly (the dog), thanks for always coming upstairs and cuddling with me right before we have to wake up, and when we do have to wake up, you always come right next to me and hug me.  You seriously hug me.  You are a dog, but you give the best hugs, thanks.

That's all I have for now.  I'll work my way up to 5 next time.  In the meantime, to whoever reads this, I hope you're finding things you're thankful for as well!  It's a good day.



  (Kelly the dog, I love her.)

Weekend Verdict

This weekend may fall into the top 5 weekends of 2013.  Good time with friends, quality time with hubs, and added bonus, I graded tests.  We basically rocked the weekend. 

Livin' for the weekend

I feel like this post needs some music.  I'm going to suggest reading this post to "working for the weekend" by Loverboy.  I am also going to suggest watching the Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze Chip-N-Dale's audition after that.  Google it.  It's awesome.   

I love being a teacher, don't get me wrong.  I love my job, I love my kids, but there's something about the weekend.  I have to hold back on Fridays when my kids say, "I can't wait to get out of here and go home."  I want to yell, "ME TOO," but I know that would be unprofessional.

I love my weekends, and spending time with the hubs.  Usually we just sit around and do nothing, and by nothing I mean, I'm usually on Pinterest and John's playing NCAA football on XBOX, so we really are doing things, just not productive members of society things.

But THIS weekend, we are out there, participating in society.  First thing, we are going to see Gravity.  We didn't skimp out like we usually do either.  We are going to the 3-D, IMAX, make you want to vomit from motion sickness, movie experience.  I'm ready.

Second thing, we are going to Octoberfest in Kemah, and polkaing to our little hearts content.  We will drink a few drinks, walk hand in hand, and breathe the salty, gas refinery Texas Gulf breeze.   

Third thing, we are going to Schlitterban!  Water park fun time people.

Yes, we are taking this weekend by the horns and not letting go till Monday.  I'm SO ready.  BRING IT WEEKEND.

 

          

Full heart

I'm not feeling well today, but I have a full heart.  John and I have never been closer, work has never been better, and there are many plans to anticipate.  There's a part of me that wants to hurry up and let all the good stuff happen right away, and there's another part that wants life to slow down to enjoy this sweet spot of life.

My goal right now is just to keep practicing positivity, joy and creativity.  So, even though things are going well, I know there's room for improvement, especially in the creativity category.  This blog helps, but I know I need to set aside some time to work on expressing myself.  Here are some things I want to work on:

1.  Making our house a home.
   (Having flesh colored walls and coming up with projects, but never finishing them, does not help
    boost morale.  John and I need to work on sprucing up the place a little.)

2.  Play the ukelele more often.
     (The ukelele is a metaphor for life.  I get frustrated with it, and struggle, but when I finally get it, I
       love it.)

That's all I got.  I'm sure the list will get longer, but I feel like this is what's calling to me at the moment.

      
 

Starting Over.

I'm starting over.  I've been inspired lately by every day acts of courage.  One blogger, Elizabeth Ivie, recently started writing again and she is eloquently able to explain how I feel regarding starting to blog again:

"Here's the thing, the seventh grade is like a teacher fan club. Any older and they're on to you. Any younger and they don't get you yet. But the seventh grade will worship the ground you walk on. They think your jokes are funny. They want you to tell them stories. They want you to read to them. They copy your outfits and adore your baby. It's my teacher dream world, though it's not for everybody. I once met a seventh grade teacher who hated her kids. She despised how needy they were. She didn't want to be their mother. But I loved it. When a kid loves/respects you as a human being, the teaching just falls into place.

So, I decided, when I did come back to blogging (hi), I'd write the kind of blog I'd want my students to be reading, if I were to recommend one to them.

Just like I wanted to teach them to be reflective, compassionate, smart kids with my lessons every day, I can do those things here."

She is lovely.  Hopefully I can find my own voice, and begin to start again.

-Mal