Water the darn flower

A great and wonderful woman by the name of "The Pioneer Woman" once said...

Whether you write a sixteen-paragraph essay about the cosmic implications of a free market system, a one-paragraph description of what happens to your soul when you walk into your godforsaken laundry room, or a simple photo and caption, consider your blog a precious bloom that requires daily nurturing.  And watering.  If you water a plant once every two weeks, it will shrivel.

So, here I go.  Here is my feeble attempt to water this darn flower.  I'm a terrible gardener metaphorically and realistically speaking.  Seriously, this is my real garden, which is probably how my blog looks right now too.... 

 

So let's do this thing!  For real.  Let's create and talk and share.  It's going to take some time and watering, but let's do this!

Staying Satisfied

There is an urge within me to always wonder what could have been.  What MIGHT have happened had John and I chosen to stay in Wisconsin?  What MIGHT have happened if I stayed at my old job instead of taking this new one?  The list can go on. 

I also have an urge to wonder, could there be more that I'm missing?  There is also an urge in me to find the next best thing.  I am that girl constantly peering over the fence saying, "that grass looks a little greener...LET'S MOVE THERE!"  Slowly and surely, I am resisting that urge to take a peek and just start settling into the beautiful world around me. 

Cheryl Strayed said it best, "I’ll never know and neither will you of the life you don’t choose. We’ll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn’t carry us. There’s nothing to do but salute it from the shore."


Right now, those might-have-been lives just feel like stuffing for the nest I'm currently building in the present. They are only a part of the beautiful whole I currently have.  Right now, our home is so lovely and full and our lives are so full and lovely. 

It is time to curl on the couch, take a sip of tea, and take inventory of the great and beautiful life laid in front of me.  And here I am.  Saluting everything that could have been.  I am sure those other lives could have been just as wonderful as the life I currently find myself in, and yet, they were not meant to be...and that's ok.       

Tribe

On Saturday, I went to a training session for my new job.  A group of around 40 women sat at wooden tables and laughed and learned and shared how to be better teachers, but best of all, these women were all able to share who they are, and I was left breathlessly thankful.   

I heard stories from breast cancer survivors, mothers, those who were not able to carry babies, those who are bilingual, married, divorced, widowed, hilarious, passionate, and accomplished.  All Christian and all beautiful in a one of a kind way, and I get to learn from them!         

How did God make this possible for me?  How can I be included in such a group of LIGHT and LIFE?  In many ways I feel like the little drummer boy.  I have no great gift to bring to this group of extraordinary women.  I have my gift of writing, but that is shoddy at best sometimes. 

I am sure that my first few months, and maybe years, of being with this company will be me working my little butt off trying to prevent them from finding out that I am actually one giant fraud who should have never been let into this tribe of amazing women.  In the meantime, I will also continually praise and thank God for this awesome opportunity.

An opportunity where my little voice will be recognized and acknowledged.  Where I can be creative and laugh and have joy and RAISE MY DAUGHTER.  God is so good.