Part of me wonders if I really made a difference. Basically the whole of my twenties were dedicated to trying (emphasis on trying) to teaching those, not much younger than myself, not just about the English language, but about life. To those I taught: please know if I ever messed up, I was just trying to figure things out, while trying to look like I had it all under control.
Teaching is a BIG calling. What right did I have to think, "oh yes, I can be a teacher!" Looking back, it feels as though I climbed a mountain. What is crazier is that right beside me, there is my husband, another teacher, climbing with me.
In order to be a teacher, no matter if you are in a Christian school, public school, or charter school, you have to give your life over to the profession. You are "on" from 6am till 6pm and many times even longer than that. Take all of the grading, student worries, parent concerns, lesson plans, coaching, administration woes, and other meetings and after school responsibilities and multiply it by 2, and you might understand.
Right now, John is able to continue his calling, but adding Diana to our family shifted mine. Diana needs me to be completely present in her life. My students need my to be completely present in theirs. I knew in my heart it was time to say goodbye when I could no longer feasibly consider how to divide myself in two. I could not give both my students, and my daughter, 100%. So, I chose Diana. In life, Diana will always come before anything. Luckily at my new job, my mentor and boss understands that.
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In some ways, this feels like a calling too. I'm answering a call that many women before me have answered. I never thought I would. I'm answering the call of my family. What I didn't expect was that God also gave me the gift of learning and growing from a tribe of women I can't wait to be a part of. I couldn't ask for more. Onward.
