Just a good thought....

“The only way through it for me is to take pleasure in the process of writing, or to find value in it. Even when I suck. Even when there’s no way anything I’m writing will ever see the light of day. The act of trying to write for an audience must feel valuable in and of itself, or else I am doomed.”

Preach John Green

Pouring

I'm going to continue with the watering metaphor.  When it rains, it pours.  Figuring out this new life, new job, practically new baby, it's hard stuff!

The other day, I was spread eagle sobbing on the floor while Diana chirped and climbed over me, yanking out strands of my hair.

How did our ancestors not just curl up in the fetal position and take a nap?  I can never envision a sweet Victorian lady, corset and all, rocking in the corner worrying about how to take care of her world.  Of course, this sweet Victorian lady also didn't have to worry her pretty head about the minutiae of life.  She had nannies and man-folk to do that.  She had tea and needle point.

The thing is that it's hard to just let it all go.  To just let God water and take over.  My real life garden does look pretty crappy, but I just let the rain take over.  I don't touch it.  And you know what?  Things still grow.  My basil is tilting, my mint is overgrown and wild, and the tomato plant is creeping out of the pot, but it's all growing and it's all ok.

Dear Lord, just take this all over.  Thanks.  You know what you're doing.

My view.  Not bad.  It's all ok.

 

Water the darn flower

A great and wonderful woman by the name of "The Pioneer Woman" once said...

Whether you write a sixteen-paragraph essay about the cosmic implications of a free market system, a one-paragraph description of what happens to your soul when you walk into your godforsaken laundry room, or a simple photo and caption, consider your blog a precious bloom that requires daily nurturing.  And watering.  If you water a plant once every two weeks, it will shrivel.

So, here I go.  Here is my feeble attempt to water this darn flower.  I'm a terrible gardener metaphorically and realistically speaking.  Seriously, this is my real garden, which is probably how my blog looks right now too.... 

 

So let's do this thing!  For real.  Let's create and talk and share.  It's going to take some time and watering, but let's do this!

Staying Satisfied

There is an urge within me to always wonder what could have been.  What MIGHT have happened had John and I chosen to stay in Wisconsin?  What MIGHT have happened if I stayed at my old job instead of taking this new one?  The list can go on. 

I also have an urge to wonder, could there be more that I'm missing?  There is also an urge in me to find the next best thing.  I am that girl constantly peering over the fence saying, "that grass looks a little greener...LET'S MOVE THERE!"  Slowly and surely, I am resisting that urge to take a peek and just start settling into the beautiful world around me. 

Cheryl Strayed said it best, "I’ll never know and neither will you of the life you don’t choose. We’ll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn’t carry us. There’s nothing to do but salute it from the shore."


Right now, those might-have-been lives just feel like stuffing for the nest I'm currently building in the present. They are only a part of the beautiful whole I currently have.  Right now, our home is so lovely and full and our lives are so full and lovely. 

It is time to curl on the couch, take a sip of tea, and take inventory of the great and beautiful life laid in front of me.  And here I am.  Saluting everything that could have been.  I am sure those other lives could have been just as wonderful as the life I currently find myself in, and yet, they were not meant to be...and that's ok.