On Saturday, I went to a training session for my new job. A group of around 40 women sat at wooden tables and laughed and learned and shared how to be better teachers, but best of all, these women were all able to share who they are, and I was left breathlessly thankful.
I heard stories from breast cancer survivors, mothers, those who were not able to carry babies, those who are bilingual, married, divorced, widowed, hilarious, passionate, and accomplished. All Christian and all beautiful in a one of a kind way, and I get to learn from them!
How did God make this possible for me? How can I be included in such a group of LIGHT and LIFE? In many ways I feel like the little drummer boy. I have no great gift to bring to this group of extraordinary women. I have my gift of writing, but that is shoddy at best sometimes.
I am sure that my first few months, and maybe years, of being with this company will be me working my little butt off trying to prevent them from finding out that I am actually one giant fraud who should have never been let into this tribe of amazing women. In the meantime, I will also continually praise and thank God for this awesome opportunity.
An opportunity where my little voice will be recognized and acknowledged. Where I can be creative and laugh and have joy and RAISE MY DAUGHTER. God is so good.
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Falling in love
For me, falling in love with my baby has been a slow burn. I wish it started out like a raging forest fire, but sadly, that's not the way it began.
We began with her coming at 33 weeks instead of 40. We began with me holding her 4 days after she was born, instead of instantaneously. We began with me holding her hand through a plastic hole. We began with me feeding her through a tube inserted in her nose. It wasn't traditional, but we had a lot of things to work around for love to begin.
When she finally came home a month after she was born, that's when our love started, and it's been growing ever since. Today, I finally realized what an awesome adventure we are on. We went to a music and reading class at the library. It was fun singing the songs and doing the actions, but then something magical happened, bubbles.
Bubbles filled the room during one of the songs, floating and sparkling in the light. It would have been nice enough with just the other little babies laughing and giggling and trying to pop every one, but when Diana saw bubbles for the first time, I saw the wonder in her eyes and I almost started to cry. Key word is ALMOST. I held it together. But, I finally realized, I get to experience magic again with Diana. I get to see Christmas lights and butterflies and snowflakes and tadpoles through her eyes. That's pretty amazing. And it's making me love her all the more.
We began with her coming at 33 weeks instead of 40. We began with me holding her 4 days after she was born, instead of instantaneously. We began with me holding her hand through a plastic hole. We began with me feeding her through a tube inserted in her nose. It wasn't traditional, but we had a lot of things to work around for love to begin.
When she finally came home a month after she was born, that's when our love started, and it's been growing ever since. Today, I finally realized what an awesome adventure we are on. We went to a music and reading class at the library. It was fun singing the songs and doing the actions, but then something magical happened, bubbles.
Bubbles filled the room during one of the songs, floating and sparkling in the light. It would have been nice enough with just the other little babies laughing and giggling and trying to pop every one, but when Diana saw bubbles for the first time, I saw the wonder in her eyes and I almost started to cry. Key word is ALMOST. I held it together. But, I finally realized, I get to experience magic again with Diana. I get to see Christmas lights and butterflies and snowflakes and tadpoles through her eyes. That's pretty amazing. And it's making me love her all the more.
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